Monday, July 5, 2010

Monday Attitude Adjustment Story 148

Miscellaneous Catch up Stories #2
Too busy over the weekend to bother with writing up one of these and besides, at my advanced age, I discovered that there are two things you lose right off the bat when you becomes a senior citizen. I forget what the first thing is but memory is the second. I asked Sylvia if she remembered was the first thing and she refused to even talk to me…said that she didn’t converse with older, strange men, so she was no help at all. Actually, I am looking forward to dementia or Alzheimer’s or whatever because it will take me back to my college days. You know those days when I could go to bed with one woman and wake up the next morning with a female stranger snuggling me. Okay, that’s just a stupid fantasy but it will become a reality in the not too distant future and the plus side is I will also be able to meet a whole lot of new people every day.
But I digress…I covered my siblings and now I need to cover my Mother, Mother-in-Law, my Brothers-in-Law, Children, Daughter-in-Law, Significant-other-in-Law & Grandchildren, but I am tired from just from communicating all of the people I have to cover. I can only hope that there will be no new entries in the Garber or Bank family trees before I can finish writing this update. For a while it seemed like they were spouting like weeds and at my age it will be hard to remember all of the names. However I have eight nieces and nephews (four of each) at the moment (see, I forgot to mention these already) and all are capable of spawning at any time…Oops, too late, I just remembered that I have two Grand Nieces and one Grand Nephew and my fingers are bleeding as I write.
However, before I delve into any family news, I’ll have to talk a little more about my wife, Sylvia. She actually is happy that my birthday is today because for six months now, she can say; “I married an ‘Older’ man” or “Did you what ‘my old man’ did now” or “Yeah, my husband robbed the cradle when he married me”; and feel she is being entirely truthful and honest. Today, for the first time in six months, when I referred to her as my “Trophy wife” she didn’t tell me to shut up. She just stuck a seductive pose and inquired, “Why…Because I married an ‘Older’ man?” I answered, “No because you are all for show but no touching is allowed”. Not to worry, the doctor told me I would recover in time to go through the Catheter Ablation scheduled for Friday, July 9, as long as my blood tests on Thursday come back Okay. Just reminded me, we are going to be alone in the house later today and I’ll have to try to use Sympathy to wheedle out a great birthday present for myself so I’ll have to wrap this up to plan my sneak attack…wish me luck. More (I hope) next week.

Next week's 07-12-2010 (#149) title: Miscellaneous Catch up Stories #3

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